Bobby Raths Has the Key to Mentoring

January is National Mentor Month! To show our appreciation for our mentors who volunteer with CIS Arizona we are showcasing mentors during the month of January.

Sitting quietly on a park bench listening is all mentor Bobby Raths needs to do for his mentee Chris*. For Bobby, the key to mentoring is listening.

"Being a good listener is sometimes all they want," says Bobby who has been mentoring a CIS Arizona student for two years. "Just talking about his family and his accomplishments," Bobby explains is one of the pair's favorite activities. "I let him do 70 percent of the talking."

Through listening, they've built a relationship of mutual respect, honesty and patience. Bobby explains there's no time limit when he's with Chris and often the two find themselves hours later still on that same bench.

The topics of their conversations are limitless, spanning from friends and girls to social pressures at school and violence in Chris' neighborhood. "Just surviving," Bobby says when asked what the pair are working on together.

"They see bullet casings in the street," describes Bobby. "People don't realize this goes on," he continues. "When we're done sometimes I have a lump in my stomach knowing he's having a tough time."

Despite the challenges Chris faces outside of school, he remains an upbeat, energetic and comical 15-year-old who is looking at what the future holds for him. He has goals, but Bobby is challenging him with the idea of setting up a plan to meet these goals. "How will [you] achieve this?" Bobby explains of the pair's focus when it comes to goal setting.

A retired teacher, Bobby was often a mentor to younger teachers and students. "I wanted to set them up for success, not failure," he says. He brings that same principle to his mentor relationships with the youth he works with now.

After he left teaching, Bobby turned to mentoring to fill the void left by the absence of the classroom. "I still have something to give," Bobby says of the over 30 years he spent teaching. He uses not only his teaching background, but his own life experiences, failures and mistakes to be a good mentor, proving you don't have to be perfect to make a difference.

Although Bobby has a plethora of knowledge he cautions other mentors, "You can give ideas and ways to make things easier or less stressful. Never preach."

Chris is not the only one gaining something from a mentor relationship. "Patience," Bobby admits is something he's learned from Chris. "Eventually things get done. A lot of times it's at his pace."

Although the rewards aren't tangible, Bobby sees the value in giving his time to help Chris. "A mentor is not a teacher or a parent, not just a friend," he says. "It's something different. They tell you everything."

written by Hannah M. Davis

*=his name has been changed for privacy purposes